As a life coach, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside people during some of their darkest moments. And while each client’s story is different, they all share one thing in common: a sense of being utterly overwhelmed by life. They often come to me in crisis mode, desperate for solutions, clarity, or simply a way to breathe through their current challenges.
One client, Maria, found herself grappling with a recent and painful separation. After 15 years of marriage, she was suddenly facing the reality of being a single parent while juggling her full-time career. The emotions were raw, and the fear of the unknown was paralyzing. She felt lost, unsure of how to navigate the mountain of emotions and practicalities that came with her new reality.
Then there was James, a father of two teenagers, each facing their own set of behavioral challenges. One had recently dropped out of school, the other was struggling with anxiety and depression. His home had become a battlefield of emotional eruptions, and he was running on empty, desperately trying to "fix" his family.
And finally, there’s Sarah, a vibrant woman in her 30s who had always been active and full of life, but was recently diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune condition. Her new physical limitations left her feeling like a shadow of her former self. She was exhausted, not just from her illness but from the mental and emotional toll of it all.
In each of these cases, the instinctual response --their’s AND mine-- was to fix the problem: solve the crisis, find a solution, and move forward. But what I’ve learned through years of coaching is that the first line of action isn’t about fixing the external situation. It’s about getting yourself into a better internal space before you even begin to tackle the problems.
PUTTING YOUR OXYGEN MASK ON FIRST
If you’ve ever flown on an airplane, you’re familiar with the safety briefing: In case of an emergency, put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others. The wisdom behind this is that if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t have the capacity to help those around you. The same rule applies in life—especially when you’re dealing with extreme hardship.
Maria, James, and Sarah were all in survival mode, running on adrenaline and sheer willpower. And while that might work in the short term, it’s not sustainable. The truth is, in the midst of hardship, the most important thing you can do is prioritize extreme self-care. Only when you’ve brought yourself back to a place of calm can you begin to make thoughtful, effective decisions.
Extreme self-care is about more than just taking a break. It’s about recognizing that you can’t pour from an empty cup and that caring for yourself is essential—not just for your own well-being but for the well-being of those who depend on you.
WHAT DOES EXTREME SELF-CARE LOOK LIKE?
So, what does extreme self-care entail? It’s different for everyone, but here are a few practices that can help you get back to a place of balance, peace, and clarity:
1 - NATURE WALKS
There’s something deeply healing about being in nature. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the mountains, or simply sitting by a body of water, nature has a way of grounding us. The fresh air, the sounds of the wind, the sight of the trees—it all helps to calm the nervous system and bring a sense of perspective. For Maria, taking long walks in the nearby woods became her sanctuary. It was a time for her to breathe, reflect, and feel a connection to something bigger than her immediate problems.
2 - CONNECTING WITH LOVED ONES
(My German grandma and I a long long time ago during our last Christmas together)
When we’re in crisis, we often isolate ourselves, either because we feel ashamed or because we think we don’t have the energy to engage with others. But connection is vital. Spending time with loved ones—whether it’s talking with a friend, hugging your child, or laughing over a silly memory with a family member—can remind you that you’re not alone. James found solace in reconnecting with an old college friend, which allowed him to share his frustrations without judgment.
3 - DOING SOMETHING FUN JUST FOR YOU
Sometimes, when life is hard, we forget to do things that bring us joy. We get so caught up in the seriousness of our situation that we stop allowing ourselves to have fun. But engaging in activities that make you happy is one of the best ways to recharge your energy. For Sarah, this meant rediscovering her love of painting. She had forgotten how much joy she found in the creative process, and taking the time to paint was a way for her to reconnect with herself.
4 - TALKING TO A THERAPIST OR COACH
There’s no shame in seeking professional help when life feels too big to handle. A therapist or coach can offer an outside perspective, practical tools, and a safe space to process your emotions. Both Maria and James sought coaching to help them navigate their respective challenges, finding that having a dedicated space to focus on themselves was incredibly helpful in moving forward.
5 - IMPROVING YOUR LIFE HYGIENE: SLEEP, DIET, AND EXERCISE
We can’t ignore the basics. When you’re in a state of crisis, sleep, diet, and exercise often go out the window. But these are foundational to your well-being. Getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and moving your body—even if it’s just a short walk—can make a huge difference in how you feel physically and emotionally. For Sarah, prioritizing rest and making small dietary changes to support her health became a crucial part of managing her condition.
6 - PETTING A PET
Spending time with a pet—whether it’s a dog, cat, or even a small animal—can be incredibly soothing. The simple act of petting a pet releases oxytocin, the "love hormone," which helps reduce stress and anxiety. Pets also provide unconditional love, companionship, and a sense of purpose, which can be particularly comforting during times of hardship. Sarah, for example, found immense comfort in snuggling with her dog during flare-ups of her chronic illness. Her pet gave her both physical and emotional relief, reminding her that even in difficult moments, she wasn’t alone.
Animals can be a wonderful reminder of the importance of staying present and practicing gratitude for the small joys in life.
Many people, especially those who are natural caregivers, feel guilty about prioritizing themselves. But self-care is not selfish—it’s the most generous thing you can do for the people around you. When you take care of yourself, you become better equipped to handle life’s challenges. You become a better parent, partner, colleague, and friend.
By nourishing yourself first, you cultivate the energy, patience, and resilience needed to support those who rely on you. James realized this after he started taking care of his own needs—getting back to his morning workouts, talking to his coach, and spending time with friends. As a result, he found he had more patience and clarity when dealing with his teenagers, and the entire atmosphere in his home began to shift.
YOUR CHALLENGE:
COMMIT TO SELF-CARE TODAY!!!
So, what about you? Are you facing a difficult time right now? Maybe it’s a health crisis, a relationship issue, or the pressure of work and family. Whatever it is, I invite you to commit to taking extreme self-care. Start with just one small action today—whether it’s calling a friend, going for a walk, or scheduling time to talk to a therapist or coach. Or … maybe listening to a good song? Here’s one for you:
If you’re not sure where to begin, I’d love to help. I’m running a wellness workshop in November, just as the days are getting shorter, and we’re all gearing up for the end-of-year holidays. This is the perfect time to prioritize yourself and get back to a place of calm and strength so you can show up as your best self during one of the most demanding seasons of the year. To find out more about the workshop, read on!
Remember: You deserve care, compassion, and support. Don’t wait until you’re completely depleted. Start now—your future self (and the people around you!) will thank you.
Warmly,
Your Life Coach and Staunch Wellness Advocate!
WELLNESS WORKSHOP
Join us for an immersive half-day Wellness Virtual Workshop on Friday, November 8, from 9 AM to 12 PM EST.
Who it's for: Anyone feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or simply looking to prioritize their mental and physical well-being. Whether you’re managing work-life balance, recovering from a health challenge, or just seeking a self-care reset, this workshop is designed to help you recharge and refocus.
What You'll Learn:
- Stress Management Techniques: Discover simple yet effective methods to manage stress and anxiety in your daily life.
- Mindfulness & Meditation: Learn how to incorporate mindfulness practices to find calm in the chaos.
- Self-Care Strategies: Explore actionable self-care tips that fit into your busy lifestyle, allowing you to maintain balance and energy.
Why Attend? Bring your current stressors or wellness challenges to the session and leave with practical tools to improve your mental and physical well-being. This workshop will equip you with the skills to lead a healthier, more balanced life, ready to face life’s challenges with clarity and calm.
Details:
Cost: $350
Early Bird Discount: Register by October 31 and save $50 with code EARLYBIRD!
Don’t miss this opportunity to invest in your well-being and take the first step towards a more peaceful, balanced life. Secure your spot today!
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