My February newsletter was supposed to talk about Love. But if you read it, you know that something personal and worrisome was going on so I ended up discussing how, when we are pre-occupied and in emotional reactivity, we can’t at the same time be functioning at peek brain capacity. We can’t BE not okay and DO well at the same time.
Before I continue I have to pause and apologize to all of you who reached out after reading the newsletter, with concerns for me about the issue I was alluding to. I was so focused on my topic of pre-occupation, that the thought didn’t cross my mind that I could actually worry people (which is humorous as it actually illustrated what I was talking about: my mind wasn’t functioning and therefore things weren’t crossing it well). I am really sorry if I worried you and I am so grateful for the outpouring of kindness I received: THANK YOU! Whatever was going on is still being worked on and doesn’t seem too serious.
Back to today’s topic: we published our last newsletter on February 22. And on February 24, Russia invaded Ukraine. If I thought I had some issues before, they were quickly displaced with this new and giant concern. And here I am again, a month later, having a hard time coming up with my usual uplifting and encouraging recommendations for overcoming life challenges and leading a better life. Everything I can think of seems so trivial and so superficial in the face of the suffering that’s happening elsewhere in the world. If you’re anything like me, you might be feeling quite helpless, if not hopeless. I even feel despair at times. As if climate change, politics, and Covid weren’t enough: a new war had to be added on to the pain of the world. How much can humans take – seriously?
To make matters worse, I just learned last week in a neuroscience course that the most important factor in happiness is HOPE. So how do you stay upright – let alone happy – when you feel like you are losing hope?
You go back to the basics.
That’s how.
Over and over again.
Because …
"One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do
to intervene in a stormy world
is to stand up and show your soul.
Struggling souls catch light from other souls
who are fully lit
and willing to show it."
~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes
So … What are the basics? How do you stay fully lit when all you want to do is hide?
✔ You get up and you honor the day.
✔ You do whatever you do in the morning – for me it’s stretching, meditation, mantras, prayers, journaling and connecting with others in various ways.
✔ You do your work, as well as you can, so that you feel you are contributing to the world with your gifts and talents. This includes your work for pay as well as the work you do at home and with/for your family. It also includes any volunteer activities.
✔ You take care of yourself both physically (with nourishing food and mindful eating, and by moving your body) and spiritually (by connecting to your loved ones, by being in nature, by doing things you love, and by finding beauty and laughter everywhere you can. And of course you don’t forget to practice gratitude).
✔ You make plans – since hope is the most important pillar of happiness, making plans is crucial.
✔ And at the end of the day, you rest. That’s also part of honoring you and replenishing yourself so you can do it again tomorrow.
And if you don’t feel like it, you get a grip and you do it anyways. Like Alfred Adler might have suggested:
Pretend “AS IF” you actually did want to do all this, even when you don’t.
What matters is not whether you want to or not, but whether you do it or not.
Because life, and contribution, happens at the level of movement and action, not in our heads.
How is all this helping the victims of war?
Well not everyone can go to Ukraine to help on the ground.
Of course you or I can send money (if we can afford to). We can inquire locally how we can tangibly help, and we can do that.
But most importantly, we are going to be of good use to the world if we stay fully lit. That’s what the world needs right now: a whole lot of people who are fully lit, and who can help struggling souls catch some of their light.
It still feels like so little. But as Helen Keller reminds us:
"I am only one; but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something.
I will not refuse to do something I can do."
~ Helen Keller
So today:
✔ I got up.
✔ I did my morning things.
✔ I did my Challenge Coaching work all day and served my clients and the non-profits I work for.
✔ I walked in the woods and saw a bluebird.
✔ Tonight I went to choir rehearsal – we are singing a world premiere this coming weekend: “America’s Requiem, A Knee on The Neck” by Adolphus Hailsork – commemorating the life and tragic loss of George Floyd.
✔ I came home and set up a recurring donation to the World Central Kitchen so that they can distribute food to the victims of wars and the people on the ground who help them.
✔ And now I am writing this.
...Next I will go and rest my body and my soul, so I can do all this again tomorrow.
What are YOU going to do today to stay fully lit and to help struggling souls catch some of your light?
Let’s do this together.
