I am sure you are aware … we just had a presidential election in the US. My candidate lost. This happens to at least one-third, if not one-half, of us voters in every American election – so nothing unusual there. But I am sure we’d all agree, no matter what side we were on, the stakes in this one were a little higher—a little “hotter” maybe?—than usual.
Add to this the recent hurricanes and their aftermath down in the American South, the disastrous floodings in Spain, the ongoing wars, the famines … It would feel a little tone-deaf to write a newsletter on some coaching topic, as if nothing major had just happened.
Since the wind was just significantly knocked out of my sails, I’m hunkering down into what I know helps me stay as grounded and centered as possible in the here and now. I’m hoping it helps you too: an attitude of gratitude combined with the practice of mindfulness and contribution.
Perfect timing – since it’s the official month of gratitude and thankfulness in the US!
Thanksgiving is upon us. It will feel so good to have a few days off, gather around the hearth, connect over a good meal, and for a few hours forget about the "stuff out there."
But Thanksgiving is not just the month of "thanks." It’s also the month of "giving."
As Alfred Adler taught us: contributing, or in his own words “Gemeinschaftsgefühl” (which literally translates from the German as “feeling of community,” but we often refer to it as “Social Interest”), helps us feel a sense of belonging. Bonus: it’s also a major contributor to mental health. Don’t take my word for it! Try it for yourself … Here are a few tips to help you along.
The Many Forms of Giving: A Path to Purpose and Connection
When we think about “giving” in the context of this season, we often think of charitable donations, or perhaps spending time with loved ones. But in truth, giving is an expansive concept, one that goes far beyond the exchange of material goods. As we enter this time of reflection and gratitude, I encourage you to think not only about what you have but also about what you give—and what giving can do for you, your relationships, and your sense of purpose.
Giving is a multi-faceted act, and it doesn’t always require a financial investment. In fact, some of the most impactful forms of giving are those that don’t involve money at all. Let’s take a closer look at the different ways we can give this month—and how these acts of generosity can help us feel connected, grounded, and fulfilled.
1 - GIVING YOUR TIME
Sometimes, the most precious gift we can offer is our time. In a world that often feels frenetic and rushed, taking a moment to simply be there for someone else is a rare and powerful form of giving. This could mean lending a hand to a neighbor in need, volunteering at a local shelter, or even just being present with a friend who’s going through a difficult time. It’s about showing up, in both small and large ways, and offering your undivided attention.
When we give our time, we affirm that we value others. And in return, the act of showing up—whether it's for someone else or for ourselves—creates a deep sense of connection.
As a life coach, I see how often clients struggle with feelings of isolation or disconnection. But when they give of their time—whether it's helping someone they love or contributing to a cause they care about—the sense of loneliness often lifts. This simple act has a profound impact on one’s mental well-being.
2 - GIVING YOUR TALENTS
Each of us has unique gifts, skills, and passions. When we give in ways that utilize our talents, we connect with others in a deeply personal and meaningful way. This might look like offering your expertise to a friend who needs help, lending your creative talents to a community project, or even mentoring someone who is looking for guidance. The options to give of our talents are endless!
A colleague of mine was a certified parent educator and was getting her Masters in Social Work. During her studies, she decided to volunteer for the “988 hotline” (suicide hotline). Another dear friend found herself with time on her hands when her four children left the coop: she trained to volunteer for CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) and years later still works for them part time, supporting children in courts. Yet another friend, certified as CPF (Certified Financial Planner), started giving of her time to support low-income folks with their tax returns through the Catholic Charities of DC. Each one has shared with me multiple times how much sharing their talents and their time has meant for them and made a difference in their lives.
The beauty of giving our talents is that it reflects the best of who we are. It allows us to feel proud of what we can offer, while also helping others tap into the power of their own potential. In fact, it can be incredibly rewarding to see someone else grow or succeed because of the talent and time we’ve shared.
3 - GIVING YOUR TREASURE
This is the form of giving that’s most commonly associated with the holidays: making a financial contribution to a cause, charity, or organization. But even in this area, the idea of “giving your treasure” expands beyond just writing a check. It’s about using your resources—whether that’s money, clothing, food, or even your professional connections—to support someone or something that aligns with your values.
It’s important to remember, however, that giving doesn’t always need to be grand or involve large sums. Sometimes, small donations can make the most meaningful impact. Think of it as a reminder that every little bit counts, and even the smallest gesture has the potential to create ripples of positive change. Many of you might be aware that I am a board member with PEP, the Parent Encouragement Program, a non-profit organization. Our policy is that each board member make PEP their #1 charitable giving organization, while emphasizing that this doesn’t mean a specific amount of donation but just that whatever the amount, it is meaningful to the person who is giving. Another cool example is the story of Suspended coffee, or caffe sospeso: it is a tradition that comes from Naples, Italy, and dates to at least the turn of the 20th century. When customers buy coffee, they also pay in advance for a cup to be given to somebody else -- usually someone who otherwise couldn't afford it. A small gesture but so incredibly meaningful!
4 - GIVING YOUR KINDNESS
Kindness is one of the simplest and most powerful forms of giving. It costs nothing but can have a profound impact on others. A smile, a compliment, an encouraging word—these small acts can turn someone’s day around. But they can also transform your day.
Kindness connects us as human beings and reminds us of our shared humanity. It’s something we can all practice, every single day, with everyone we encounter. And, like a muscle, kindness grows stronger the more we use it. It may seem small, but over time, this type of giving can change the world—one interaction at a time. So go ahead: write a “I care about you” card to someone today, or send a “thinking about your today” text. And notice how you feel.
5 - GIVING TO YOURSELF
It might seem counterintuitive, but one of the most powerful acts of giving you can engage in this month is giving to yourself. When we’re burnt out, disconnected, or overwhelmed, we have less to give to others. Taking time to recharge, reflect, and nurture yourself is an essential part of your capacity to give more fully to those around you.
Whether it’s taking a walk in nature, engaging in a favorite hobby, or simply pausing for a few moments of stillness, self-care is an essential form of giving that helps you show up in a more authentic, present way. It also supports your own mental and emotional well-being, which ripples outward to all the people you interact with.
Cultivating a Spirit of Gratitude
The truth is, we are all always in a state of giving, whether we’re aware of it or not. From our daily interactions with family and friends to the work we do and the care we show to the world around us, we are constantly giving our time, our energy, our talents, and our love. This season of gratitude presents an opportunity to reflect on these gifts—and to deepen our capacity for both giving and receiving.
The act of giving can be transformative for our hearts and minds. It has the power to shift our focus from what we lack to what we can share. It reminds us of the interconnections that bind us together. And in the process, we may find that what we give comes back to us in ways we could never have expected—often in the form of deeper joy, richer relationships, and a greater sense of purpose.
As you step into this season, I encourage you to reflect on your own capacity for giving, in whatever form feels right for you. And if you haven’t already, consider creating a new tradition of giving that’s meaningful to you, whether it’s volunteering, offering your talents, or simply showing up with kindness in your daily life.
Let us embrace the practice of giving—not as a seasonal obligation, but as a way of living.
A Moment of Reflection
As we pause this November to reflect on the gifts we have to offer, I leave you with this poem, inviting you to take a moment to savor the quiet beauty of the season.
As you navigate this busy season, may you find peace, presence, and plenty of opportunities to give—not only to others but to yourself. Happy Thanksgiving.
Warmly,
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