“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today
and creates a vision for tomorrow”.
- Melody Beattie
This blog post goes out to a variety of people around the world (HELLO EVERYONE! And thank you all for your interest and loyalty!), who might not know everything about the American Thanksgiving Holiday. Bear with me as I give a little bit of Thanksgiving background by way of introduction to this month’s newsletter.
Thanksgiving Day is a national holiday in the United States, held on the fourth Thursday in November, celebrating the harvest and other blessings of the year. It is particularly rich in legend and symbolism, and the traditional fare of the Thanksgiving meal typically includes turkey, bread stuffing, potatoes, cranberries and pumpkin pie.
This is (just part of!) the feast that I enjoyed last week!
It is known as the American holiday where families and friends get together to celebrate (even more than the end-of-year religious Holidays), making it the busiest travel day of the year. It also is the only American holiday which has no commercial aspect to it (besides food). Therefore, it’s probably the most liked tradition of all. Folks typically spend the day cooking, and then get together sometime in the afternoon for libations and to watch American football together. In typical capitalist fashion, America definitely catches up on the day of commercial fast that is Thanksgiving by having what’s known as “Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday”, two days of massive sales, on the Friday and Monday after Thanksgiving.
To those who do celebrate, Thanksgiving is a day to pause and really take stock of our blessings. Most families take a moment at the beginning of the meal to give Thanks or Blessings, and many have traditions of mutual appreciations or of sharing gratitude at some point during the day.
For all those reasons, it is my favorite adopted American Holiday, the spirit of which I wish I could export to Europe! I love having a day of rest, together with loved ones, cooking and eating, and most importantly I cherish spending the day reflecting in a more focused way on all the gratitude I have for all the blessings in my life.
Of course, each holiday season comes with high expectations for a cozy and festive time of year. However, for many, this time of year is tinged with sadness, anxiety, or depression, and many people might even feel lost or down (and even more so this year, after almost two years of a pandemic). Research, as well as common sense, suggests that one aspect of the Thanksgiving season can actually lift the spirits, and it's built right into the holiday:
Being grateful!
The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word “gratia”, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness - depending on the context. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what we receive: it is an acknowledgement of the goodness in our lives. In the process of feeling grateful, we usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside ourselves. As a result, being grateful also helps us connect to something larger than ourselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.
The best bit...gratitude doesn't need to be confined to just one day of the year!
In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships. I learned about this a long time ago when I was starting to study positive psychology, and as a result made gratitude part of our family’s life: one of the Mama Jar notes my daughter wrote me when she left for college said:
“You pushed us to say three appreciations every night”.
We can apply it to the past (retrieving positive memories and being thankful for elements of childhood or past blessings), the present (not taking good fortune for granted as it comes), and the future (maintaining a hopeful and optimistic attitude).
Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have, instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them happier, or thinking they can't feel satisfied until every physical and material need is met. It helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack, thus creating a sense of abundance instead of scarcity. “An attitude of gratitude” is a regular habit to express appreciation and thankfulness for all parts of your life, big or small. Developing a gratitude mindset means a shift of focus from yourself to the things and people in your life that are important. And, although it may feel contrived at first, this mental state grows stronger with use and practice: regardless of the inherent or current level of someone's gratitude, it's a quality that can always successfully be cultivated further.
Here are 6 ways to cultivate gratitude on a regular basis:
1. Keep a gratitude journal
Make it a habit to write down or share with a loved one thoughts about the gifts you've received each day. Ideally, write down THREE things you are grateful for which happened today before going to bed at night.
2. Count your blessings
Pick a time every week to sit down and write about your blessings — reflecting on what went right or what you are grateful for. Sometimes it helps to pick a number — such as three to five things — that you will identify each week. As you write, be specific and think about the sensations you felt when something good happened to you. The embodiment helps lock the experience inside your body.
3. Write a thank-you note
You can make yourself happier and nurture your relationship with another person by writing a thank-you letter or email expressing your enjoyment and appreciation of that person's impact on your life. Send it, or better yet, deliver and read it in person if possible. Make a habit of sending at least one gratitude letter a month. Once in a while, write one to yourself. I used to put little gratitude notes inside my children’s lunch boxes every once in a while...
4. Thank someone mentally
No time to write? It may help just to think about someone who has done something nice for you, and mentally thank the individual. I do this every morning as part of my morning ritual before starting my day. It only takes seconds and helps the day get started on such a positive note!
5. Pray
People who are religious or spiritual can use prayer to cultivate gratitude.
6. Meditate
Mindfulness meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. Although people often focus on a word or phrase (such as “love” or “I am kind"), it is also possible to focus on what you're grateful for (the warmth of the sun, a pleasant sound, etc.).
“Although Thanksgiving comes but once a year,
every day should be a day of Thanks”.
- Monique Hammon
How do you cultivate gratitude? I would love to hear - let me know!
Before wrapping up this newsletter and the month of November,
I want to take a moment to extend my gratitude to YOU –
my dear family,
my sweet friends,
my cherished clients, colleagues and teachers,
and all of my very favorite readers.
You listen to me, you hold me, you challenge me,
you help me grow –
and my life is better with you in it.
I appreciate you!
Thank you for the blessings you bring to my life.
Shop to Support
So far we have mentioned “Thanksgiving Thursday”, “Black Friday”, “Cyber Monday” … but we haven’t yet talked about “Giving Tuesday”!
Giving Tuesday takes place on the Tuesday following Thanksgiving, and it was created to help the “giving season” get started, reminding people that there is more to holidays than consumerism and commercialization. Giving Tuesday is a movement meant to energize an organization’s supporters, promote generosity, and inspire people to give to a meaningful cause that matters to them.
I thought this would be a great time to share with you, the two non-profits I care about and participate in - PEP and the Stop Hunger Foundation. To encourage you to contribute to these two amazing organizations, I am thrilled that we have come up with a WIN-WIN-WIN idea: Shop for your Holidays gifts in our store - where you will discovery our NEW DESIGNS created just in time for the Season - and we will give 100% of the proceeds of those sales until the end of the year to PEP and the Stop Hunger Foundation (split 50/50).
WIN 1 – Find perfect gifts for the Holidays in our store.
WIN 2 - Support a small business you care about with meaningful inspirational messages which can change someone’s day.
WIN 3 - Support the important work of two amazing non-profits.
Parent Encouragement Program (PEP)
For 20+ years now, I have been part of the PEP family. PEP is a 40+ year old non-profit based in Maryland, which teaches positive discipline parent education classes based in Adlerian Psychology. I started taking classes there as a new mom, then became a certified parent educator, and now am also the president of the board. We used to be a small local organization teaching in person classes to local parents only – but have now become a national organization reaching parents all over the US and even worldwide through a strong offering of various online programs (masterclasses, workshops and webinars) to our client organizations (schools, corporations, non-profits etc.). PEP’s mission is to build strong, harmonious family relationships through parenting education, skills training and support. We help adults foster the values of mutual respect, shared responsibility, competence and cooperation in young people, preparing them to make positive contributions to their families, their communities and the world at large.
Taking parenting classes at PEP was life changing for me, and I can’t think of a more important mission than supporting parents in raising the citizens of tomorrow. You can find out more about PEP here.
Sodexo Stop Hunger Foundation
My other non-profit is the Stop Hunger Foundation: founded in 1996 by my late husband Stephen J. Brady, it has now become a worldwide force to be reckoned with in the fight against hunger. In the US, its mission is to ensure every child grows up with dependable access to enough nutritious food to enable them to lead a healthy, productive life. Did you know that there are 38 million Americans who are food insecure, including 12 million children? That’s almost 12% of the population who goes to bed hungry every night – in the richest nation on earth!
Since its inception, Stop Hunger has granted more than $34.5 million to alleviate child hunger in the US. In 2020, 4.1 million meals were distributed through Stop Hunger actions with the help of 37,000 volunteers.
After my husband’s passing, I was honored to be asked to join the board of the foundation and proudly support this organization’s mission.
You can read more about Stop Hunger’s work here. In addition, every year, we recognize 25 youths (ages 5 to 25) who fight hunger in the US: if you know a young person who is fighting hunger and making a significant difference in the US, please let them know about the Stephen J. Brady Stop Hunger Scholarships! Application deadline is December 5th.
So please, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, on this Giving Tuesday, join me in supporting parenting education as well as the fight against hunger as you do your holiday shopping!
