Cute little actress. Child girl in Princess costume on the background of theatrical scenes and mirrors.
Dear Clients, Colleagues, Associates, Friends and Family,
It’s so good to be in touch again. Thank you for taking the time to read my newsletters and for so often responding, reacting, or sharing your reflections. It truly means the world to me and keeps me motivated to continue. I appreciate it more than you know.
Please make sure to check the Special Offers at the bottom. This month, I’m offering a free coaching session around this newsletter’s theme and opening a few pro-bono coaching spots for anyone affected by the current circumstances — layoffs, the government shutdown, or other unexpected challenges. Feel free to take advantage of this opportunity yourself or share it with someone who might need it. Thank you!
And now … let’s dive in, shall we?
A few weeks ago, I stood in front of a small audience, about to give a talk I’d given many times before. I knew the material inside out. I had rehearsed, updated the slides, and prepared carefully. Still, as I started the workshop, a voice inside whispered: “Who are you to be here?”
The kicker? It was about “rewiring our brains so things can be different” [and now all of you reading this who were in the audience that day are going to know what was really going on!].
That’s what psychologists today call imposter syndrome — the haunting feeling that you don’t deserve your success, that at any moment someone will discover you’re a fraud. And when I say “haunting”, I am not kidding. I literally felt it in my body: I was shaking and felt like I was in a complete brain fog. Again, the irony!!
I did what I always do when that voice appears. I reminded myself: “It’s not about you. Nobody cares about you. It’s about them — the audience. You’re here to serve, to contribute.”
And though I felt shaky, I acted steady. Though I felt fraudulent, I acted competent. I even continued through a horrendous foot cramp which I am pretty sure no one noticed even though I had to take off my shoes and continue presenting barefoot!
And, as so often happens, the feedback afterward was glowing. The discrepancy between how I felt I did and how it actually landed with the audience remains a mystery for me to this day. How could they not have noticed how nervous I was — even though, of course, all that frantic commentary about how terribly things were going and how much less I knew than everyone in the room was taking place entirely in my own head?
Acting “As If” — An Adlerian Tool for Courage
“Follow your heart but take your brain with you.”
-Alfred Adler
Alfred Adler, one of the founders of modern psychology, taught a principle he called “acting as if.” In today’s language, we might say “fake it till you make it.”
Adler didn’t mean for people to be inauthentic. He meant that our behavior can lead our emotions.
If we act as if we are confident, we begin to feel confident. If we speak as if we belong, we start to believe we do.
Modern neuroscience agrees (there’s research!): when we behave in ways that contradict our fear, we engage neural circuits of courage and self-regulation that calm the amygdala — the brain’s alarm system — and gradually reshape our internal state.
So yes, you can feel like an imposter and still do the thing. As writer Ambrose Redmoon reminded us in the Sun Magazine in 1991, “Courage isn’t the absence of fear — it’s the decision to act in spite of it.”
In his book Blink, Malcolm Gladwell describes how our faces don’t just reflect what we feel — they help to create it. He recounts how, during the O.J. Simpson trial, a micro-expression on a witness’s face lasted for a fraction of a second before words were spoken, revealing what the conscious answer hid. He connects this with research showing that voluntarily assuming a facial expression (for example, smiling) shifts the body’s physiological state — in effect, “acting as if” changes the inner state as well as the outer form. So putting on the “mask” of how you want to show up is one powerful way to help you “act as if.”
Sara Bareilles nails the concept of acting as if and in her song “Brave”:
This song is more than an anthem about speaking up — it’s a song about liberation from our own self-imposed limits. When she sings, “Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live,” she’s naming the quiet prisons of fear, shame, and self-doubt that keep so many of us small. The song’s call to “say what you wanna say” isn’t just about words — it’s an invitation to reclaim our authenticity, to act with courage even when the inner critic whispers otherwise.
Striving from Inferiority — The Adlerian Root
We all begin life in a state of physical helplessness — small, dependent, and acutely aware (even if unconsciously) of how much we rely on others.
Black and white shot of newborn baby right after delivery
From those early experiences arise our first feelings of inferiority — what Alfred Adler saw as the starting point of all human striving.
His core idea was that every person seeks to overcome these felt limitations and to grow into competence, contribution, and significance. He called this the striving for superiority — not superiority over others, but the natural human drive to develop beyond our perceived shortcomings.
When this striving takes a healthy direction, it fuels courage, creativity, and contribution. When it takes an unhealthy one, it turns into competition, perfectionism, or arrogance — the need to feel better than (seen that around a bit, lately?!).
That’s where the inferiority complex begins: we measure ourselves against others and always fall short. And that’s where imposter feelings thrive — in the gap between the ideal self we think we should be and the imperfect human we are.
The Imposter Syndrome Fad — And What’s Real
The term “imposter phenomenon” was first coined in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes. Their research found that high-achieving women (and later, men as well) often internalized success as luck or deception rather than competence.
Today, the concept has gone viral — sometimes too much so. Almost everyone, it seems, claims to have “imposter syndrome.” But psychologists caution that while self-doubt is normal, chronic imposter feelings become debilitating only when we ruminate on them and withdraw from challenges. So let’s not over-psychologize it. Imposter syndrome is, at heart, simply a painful expression of self-doubt — one that can be transformed through courage, practice, and connection.
From a neuroscience perspective, imposter feelings activate the amygdala (threat response) and insula (self-awareness center), while practice and exposure — doing the thing anyway — strengthen the prefrontal cortex, which quiets those signals over time. In other words: repeated courageous action rewires the brain for confidence.
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”
— Brené Brown
Here are some Practical Steps to Transform the Feeling
Separate feeling from doing. You don’t have to feel confident to act competent. The two can coexist.
Refocus on contribution. Shift from “Am I good enough?” to “Is this useful to others?” Adler called this social interest — the core of mental health.
Normalize self-doubt. Everyone you admire has felt it. The difference is, they did the thing anyway.
Practice self-talk that empowers. Your inner dialogue shapes your body’s stress response.
Find connection. Talking openly about your fears — in coaching, therapy, or peer support — dissolves shame. Shame thrives in secrecy.
Resilience. A bright yellow flower pushes through the cracks of a grey stone path. Symbol of hope, strength, and natures tenacity. Good for concepts of overcoming.
The Courage to Be Imperfect
Adler’s most radical idea was what he called “the courage to be imperfect.” When we accept that our worth isn’t dependent on flawless performance, we free ourselves to grow, to contribute, and to belong — just as we are.
As I walked away from that workshop, heart pounding, I smiled. The imposter in me might always whisper. But I have learned to whisper back: “Thank you for trying to keep me safe. I’ve got this.”
“It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.”
- Alfred Adler
Reflection & Journal Prompt
Take a few quiet minutes this week to reflect on your own experience of “acting as if.”
Recall a moment when you felt like an imposter — at work, in a relationship, or in some public setting. What story were you telling yourself at that moment about who you were supposed to be?
What did you do anyway? Notice how you behaved despite your fear. What strengths or values guided you through it?
Looking back now, what might you say to that earlier self — with compassion rather than criticism?
Finally, consider this: In what area of your life today would “acting as if” — showing up as though you belong, even before you fully believe it — move you closer to contribution, courage, or connection?
Write freely. Let your answers surprise you. You may find that the imposter voice softens not by being silenced, but by being understood — and gently reminded that you’re already enough.
Sending you courage this week—to feel the imperfect human you are AND do what you need to do anyway.
Pascale Brady | The Challenge Coach
Strong connection. Unrecognizable woman hand helping man to stand up on background, black and white
PRO BONO COACHING OFFER
Are You Affected by Current Events? Have You Lost Your Job or Been Furloughed?
As many of you know, part of my mission as The Challenge Coach is to make coaching accessible — especially during difficult times.
In the spirit of this month’s theme — from self-doubt to self-trust — I’m opening a few pro-bono coaching spots for anyone currently affected by financial or professional uncertainty (layoffs, the government shutdown, or other challenging transitions).
Sometimes the hardest and most courageous thing we can do is to accept help when it’s offered. This offer comes from a place of deep care and commitment to social interest — walking my talk about connection, courage, and contribution.
Coaching is at its most powerful when it’s shared during times of uncertainty, and this is my way of giving back to a world that has given me so much.
If this speaks to you, or if you know someone who could use support, please contact me directly.
Together, we’ll work to transform challenge into growth and resilience.
