My 13-year-old used to tell me everything.
I know exactly when it stopped. No fight, no incident… Just one week she was chatty, and the next she wasn’t. Door closed, one-word answers. And that awkward feeling of standing on the other side of the door not quite knowing what to do with your hands.
Most of us do the same thing at that point: we lean in harder (and not just in the door!).
More questions. More “I’m here if you need me.” More little check-ins that are supposed to feel casual … but are not really.
And somehow the more we try, the further away they get.
Here’s what took me a while to understand — and what I work through with parents all the time: they’re not pulling away because something is wrong. They’re doing exactly what a 13-year-old is supposed to do. This phase isn’t the problem: it’s more like a developmental stage. How we respond to this phase … might be.
Swipe through — I walk through what’s actually happening, and one shift that tends to help more than anything else.
And if this is something you’re in the middle of right now and would like to think through with someone: join my Parenting Office Hours on Tuesdays at noon. $25, six parents max, drop-in format. No program to sign up for. Just an hour to sort out what’s in front of you.
Good for any other parenting conundrum too - and for parents of kids of any ages.
